**obscene language ahead**
I. AM. FUCKING. LIVID!!! There is no delicate way to say it. So there you have it. My mail today. Or at least what's left of it. My Mother's Day gift, I'm assuming. We have two dogs. Two big dogs and our mail carrier is terrified of them. I can respect that. We live in a rual area, so she just drives around the cul de sac and puts our mail in our box and the dogs can't get to her because of the Invisible Fence. On the chance that we have a box too big to fit in the mailbox, she sits at the top of the driveway and lays on the horn for about five solid minutes. Then one of us frantically runs out to greet her to get her to stop. I can handle that. Evidently today she got over her fear. Or she figured out the dogs were inside and we were not home. And she left a box and our mail sitting on the front porch. Just sitting there. With two hungry dogs inside.
See, we don't ever use our front porch/door. See that camper? It has been sold and that spot is now where I park my van. See that right hand corner of our house? The one closest to the photographer? If you can imagine that wall just a bit further from where the picture cuts off, there is a small stooop and a door that leads directly into my kitchen. We use that door exclusively. So, imagine backing my van into the driveway (because I had groceries in the back and wanted them closest to the door) in the dark & rainy night. Imagine me grabbing my groceries and high tailing it to my kitchen door. Then imagine my dogs' excitement to see me after being out nearly all day. Then imagine my dogs' bladders and how eagerly they wanted to go outside. Then imagine their joy when they discovered a new "chew toy" left on the front porch. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how my Mother's Day gift was ruined. I intend to march my hiney up to the P.O. first thing tomorrow morning and raise 15 kinds of holy hell. Oh yes, you may just find me on YouTube tomorrow. It could get ugly.